I feel so very behind this year. I am usually so on top of things for Halloween. I have ideas about the house, ideas about my costume (all I really do is answer the door for the 25 kids that live in the neighborhood), ideas for the dog's costumes, the kid's costumes are made and ready to go and this year, nothing. nada. nyet.
The kid's have store-bought costumes (gasp!!). My house is decorated by one cow-bell lawn stake. I don't even have pumpkins to carve yet, and I imagine I will be wearing what I did last year if I bother to dress up at all.
I have to say, for someone who LOVES Halloween, this is very out of character. I just feel slow and lazy this year, and overwhelmed by things. I'm afraid the old depression is kicking up again.
I keep thinking about all the things I have to do and how they are all pilling up and I am letting things slide all over the place. Missing deadlines, just not doing stuff, not really caring that much when I do disappoint.
For anyone who has faced depression and come out the other side there is nothing scarier than facing it all again. Especially for someone like me who has successfully been off drugs for years. Someone who doesn't even have a doctor in this state. Someone who has a habit of hiding when they are sick so as not to disappoint people who love her. It is a difficult and precarious situation to be in.
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