Gasp, another post....

Don't worry... no pointless drivel about things which mean very little to those other than me. Today I thought I would chat about something which could make anyone's day full of roses, sunshine and some annoying Disney-like forest music. Today I want to talk about Converse. Now, I love my Chuck Taylors. I can't get enough of them. Basically since I was old enough to pick out my own shoes I have bypassed the trendy heels and dangerous looking wedges other were wearing, and picked myself up a pair of reliable, good-for-everything chucks. I have to confess, they weren't always real chucks. More than once I found a great pair of converse knock-offs at Payless and gladly paid my $9.99 for 3 or 4 months of wear. Mostly I couldn't resist because they were made out of some fantastic fabric with ladybugs or some other nonsense. Either way, real or not, I have worn every pair until the hole in the bottom of the sole starts letting in little rocks (or snow) and then, they get to live in my closet for a long time before I can part with them.
Did I just get a new pair? Is that what this is all about? No, even better. I was perusing the little knitting booklets... you know the ones the cover one wall by the yarn in the craft store? I was looking for some variation on a style of baby sweater I am hoping to knit for an ex-boyfriend who just had his first baby. (A girl! Welcome to the world little Niev.) In amongst all the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad bootie patterns I discovered (pause for effect) a pattern for baby high-top Chuck Taylor All-Stars. Oh my. The world is right again. Can't you see the sunshine breaking through the clouds? What is that annoying sound I hear? Disney forest music?
I am almost done with the first shoe. I am making some modifications as I want it be a little girly, but I could not think of a more perfect bootie for my artist friend's first daughter. (or anyone frankly... if I have some time I am going to try to make slippers for myself on much bigger needles with bigger yarn.)
Happy Wednesday folks. Hope there's a smile on your face too.

ok... I have to update. I just went to the site to get the link info and all, and I discovered that Converse has a design your own All-Stars feature. How cool is that.

paralyzed

I spend like 90% of my life in a state of paralysis. I look around and see all these wonderful things creative people are making and I think "That's just gorgeous" and this melancholy comes over me. This sense of longing and loving all packing into a second. See, I could be one of those creative people. I am a creative person when I allow myself to be. The problem is I can't feel without consequences. My greatest defense against being swallowed in fear and sadness is often to not open my mind to anything. I find myself stopping any sort of mental conversation which will lead me to thinking about pretty much anything emotional. Most people can't or won't understand this. They want to know why I don't sell the things I make. Why I don't go back to school. Why I don't get a better job or look at the life I am living and make choices. "I can't" never seems to be a good enough answer for them.

A new image for a new year

Every nine months or so I decide I can no longer stand my hair and need to get it chopped off. Once this ended with very short hair and two thirteen inch braids on their way to Locks of Love. I left the salon feeling great about someone else getting a chance to have hair and not so great about the way my hair looked. I never like my hair after it gets cut. I'm thinking this is why I never get it cut more than twicea year. This christmas, I was hating my hair again and instead of looking for someone local (I never go back to the same person) I got my hair cut in California. by my mother's stylist. It doesn't suck. It's also not what I asked for, but all the same. I am back to hair above my shoulders

Real Men

Ok, I know. It's been a long time. I could throw out the excuses and all, but really, besides the wedding on the other side of the country and all the knitting for that and christmas I got nothing. The knitters out there know what i mean.
So, my post today is about "real men". I could go on and on about how real men are supportive and everything, but I think instead you should just watch this.

I'm going home for christmas a week early this year. You'd think I would have some knitting or some shopping done however, being me this is what I have done:
Most of one sock (have I told you yet that I have never finished both socks for a pair)
Most of one hat.
Slightly more than half of this. If I get really ambitious, I might make matching wristers.

My flight is a week from Saturday. I have pretty much no shopping done. Holly Gololly to you.

Spinning Roving Swap package

I had such fun taking part in the spinning roving swap. I spent months looking forward to recieving my box, but what turned out to be the best part was sending all the goodies I found out to my partner. It gave me an excuse to get a little crafty crazy. I was so hoping that Julie would love it and she did! She posted about it here and put up some great pics of what I sent here. When I read her post (I read her blog regularly) it almost made me cry. She was so appreciative and I feel like she really loved the stuff I sent which was my ultimate goal. Lots of times I handmake things for people and they don't really understand what time went into the process. It's nice to be appreciated.
It's been about forever since I sat down and just decorated stuff. The last time was my freshman year in college and I decorated an empty bottle of Malibu rum with pictures ripped out of a magazine and clear nail polish. Got a bit of a high that night. I also painted a craft box with nail polish that year now that I think about it. I had a touch of insomnia that year and started getting creative with my time. Maybe I should have studied more... hmm.
Anyways, Thanks Julie for the kind words, and oh! I should talk about what I got too. My other swap partner was Paula who went under the assumed name of Bruce Sparrow, not relation to Jack. She sent me a lovely Bosworth spindle and some very lovely Burgandy/bluish roving. I also got some of the softest white roving I have every felt. Her pics turned out much better thanmine, so here they are. It is all very wonderful and waiting for me to learn how to spin. Thanks to all again.

No longer a sad llama

Since I changed the name of my blog (again) I figure today might be a good day to talk about my fear of names. Names are powerful things. Much more powerful than most people believe. I used to be a Mindy. No, I was not a cheerleader. I wasn't even perky, but Melinda seemed so grown up and Mel just reminded me of old men.
I hate naming things. Animals, blogs, companies, stories. I jsut can't ever seem to get it right. I am always thinking about what conclusions people are making about me, my fiber, my fabric creations. So, I have changed my blog, or published new ones like four times. Don't be surprised if the name keeps changing with my moods. Since I am feeling very productive right now and I have lots of things I am looking forward to this llama is not currently that sad.

It's October? Already?

I feel so very behind this year. I am usually so on top of things for Halloween. I have ideas about the house, ideas about my costume (all I really do is answer the door for the 25 kids that live in the neighborhood), ideas for the dog's costumes, the kid's costumes are made and ready to go and this year, nothing. nada. nyet.
The kid's have store-bought costumes (gasp!!). My house is decorated by one cow-bell lawn stake. I don't even have pumpkins to carve yet, and I imagine I will be wearing what I did last year if I bother to dress up at all.
I have to say, for someone who LOVES Halloween, this is very out of character. I just feel slow and lazy this year, and overwhelmed by things. I'm afraid the old depression is kicking up again.
I keep thinking about all the things I have to do and how they are all pilling up and I am letting things slide all over the place. Missing deadlines, just not doing stuff, not really caring that much when I do disappoint.
For anyone who has faced depression and come out the other side there is nothing scarier than facing it all again. Especially for someone like me who has successfully been off drugs for years. Someone who doesn't even have a doctor in this state. Someone who has a habit of hiding when they are sick so as not to disappoint people who love her. It is a difficult and precarious situation to be in.